


The Skin You're In

by Yasuo_Karada



Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Body Dysphoria, Body Image, Body Positivity, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, implications of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 14:58:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8628772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yasuo_Karada/pseuds/Yasuo_Karada
Summary: Ren grows worried that Aoba finds his new human body disgusting.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mofspades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mofspades/gifts).



> Commission for Maru! I tried to keep it under 1,000 but RenAo had other ideas, lmao. I just hope I did it justice. orz
> 
> The prompt was RenAo, dealing with Ren's anxiety! It somehow became about body image and I decided to roll with it since a lot of us have similar qualms with our appearance. Let's all learn to love ourselves. <3
> 
> (Rated M just to be safe because of the end's implications.)

Logically, Ren knew it amounted to nothing more than his own insecurities; Aoba wasn't the kind of person to be bothered by such matters, let alone something as trivial as _this_.  
  
Surviving physical therapy was nothing short of a miracle. Between strengthening not just his physical body but also his ability on _controlling_ it, and the episodes of frustration between the two whenever his progress would plateau, there were times where he actually missed being in the AllMate dog's body. Somehow, though, they made it to where Ren could walk while steadying himself, and everything just seemed to fall into place from then on.  
  
Over time his body grew to fit him, his shoulders broadening and his limbs lengthening to more closely match the Rhyme form both he and Aoba were familiar with. When he was well enough, his exercises became more intense and before long his muscles were almost just as pronounced and toned as his Rhyme form, which garnered _much_ admiration from Aoba as well as the _dire_ need for clothes to fit him properly.  
  
There came a point where they found a level of comfort after the initial awkwardness, content to just lay around in their down time to discuss the nuances of life while grazing on various snacks (Ren found that he had many favorites after being blessed with the gift of taste). Tae's cooking was his favorite part of the day, being able to sit down at the table to enjoy a meal with his family. Sometimes, while on errands or just walking around town to get some air, they would stop by a local ice cream shop and sample the new flavors, or Aoba would get him to try some strange (and often spicy) street food just to get a reaction.  
  
Ren was happy with this life. Truly, deeply happy.  
  
It wasn't until Aoba came home after work one afternoon excitedly gripping the new Blaine Nuts fashion magazine, however, that he was reminded of being in an organic body that was constantly changing.  
  
There was this feeling in his gut he likened to when he was still an AllMate, about the jealousy of the newer models and the anxiety at the thought of Aoba replacing him with one; as his lover enthusiastically showed off the new fall line, all he could focus on was the build of the models in the magazine, how their bodies look like how he used to before he grew accustomed to comfort and indulgence.  
  
He wasn't _fat_ , per se, but any muscle he had gained before had grown somewhat flabby from lack of proper use combined with a relatively stagnant lifestyle and his love of food. The more he dwelled on it, the more it ate at him inside, and soon he was seeing flaws _every_ _time_ he looked in the mirror – his skin was somewhat dull from not exfoliating properly; his hair was starting to grow into an awkward length that did _not_ compliment his face, which was starting to grow tiny whiskers of hair that kind of resembled a mustache; he happened upon a mole on the back of his shoulder by total accident after a shower one day, and he had grown nervous about being naked in front of Aoba ever since to the point of insisting on being somewhat clothed during their moments of intimacy.  
  
Ren knew he was being hard on himself, over things a body naturally does. He _knew_ this. But the worry that Aoba still found all of this disgusting drowned out all sense of reason.  


* * *

  
“I'm home!” Aoba's voice rang from downstairs. Ren set down the magazine he was reading once the footsteps stomping up the stairs grew in volume until he came bursting through the door with an armful of shopping bags from various clothing stores.  
  
“Welcome home,” Ren greeted, standing to help Aoba with the bags.  
  
“Ah, thanks. I guess a got a little carried away, haha,” the smaller of the two grinned, quickly pecking Ren's cheek before setting the bags down and digging into one of them. “They were having all these specials on winter clothing and since we both need some clothes for the cold weather coming up I kinda jumped on it.”  
  
It was true that the clothing he's always worn was starting to grow tight, though not in an ideal way.  
  
Ren sighed and returned to his place on the bed, sitting on the end and tuning in just as Aoba was saying how he hoped he “got the right size for you, I kind of had to guess since it's been a while since we last went clothes shopping.”

 _There it was_. He had been meaning to talk about this with Aoba; during past conversations that nearly escalated into arguments, he had learned to be upfront with what he was thinking.  
  
“Aoba.” His fingers clenched around the knees of his jeans; he received a hum of distracted acknowledgment as Aoba began to unpack his haul, stuffing the clothes into their shared dresser. Ren bit his lower lip. “Do you find me unattractive in any way?”  
  
At this, Aoba scrunched his face in confusion and turned his attention across the room towards Ren. “What kind of question is that?”  
  
His expression softened when Ren glanced away with a furrowed brow, as though he were hesitating to answer and even regretted asking. Aoba carefully set the articles of clothing in his hands down onto the glass table in the middle of his room before stepping over the clutter to climb onto the bed next to Ren.  
  
“Ren, what's wrong?”  
  
Small hands cupped his face and turned his head to meet Aoba directly. Shit, this didn't make it any easier.  
  
“...I...worry my body may not be to your liking.”  
  
Aoba tilted his head and made another confused expression. Ren continued with, “It is no longer in the ideal form it used to be. There are many things that have been growing of concern to me, and so I...would like to try to rectify them.”  
  
Aoba slowly dropped his hands from Ren's face, in both shock from how Ren felt about himself and shame from not picking up on it sooner.  
  
There was a pregnant pause between the two of them, and eventually it grew suffocating to be sitting there in silence with such a heavy topic.  
  
Aoba, eventually, cleared his throat once to break the silence.  
  
“I..., erm, _love_ your body, for what it's worth,” he mumbled, looking in every direction _but_ at Ren as his cheeks grew dusted with a subtle blush once he felt his stare. “It's warm, and I like to hold it. It's _yours_. Besides...everyone gets self-conscious with how they look from time to time.”  
  
Another pause.  
  
“...Like me, for example,” he continued, inhaling deeply before exhaling sharply through his nose as he finally turned his gaze to meet Ren's. “To be honest, sometimes I think I may be too short, or that I'm too scrawny, or that I look too much like a woman. For a long time, I actually used to hate it.”  
  
...That just didn't make any sense; Aoba was perfect, at least in Ren's eyes. How could he honestly think any of that about himself?  
  
“You're not any of those things, though,” Ren's voice held a certain tone of worry. Surprisingly, Aoba's response was a shy laugh.  
  
“But you see? Your perception of me is different from how I view myself. That's just how people are.” Aoba shifted to climb into Ren's lap, arms wrapping around his shoulders as he pressed their foreheads together. “We see the flaws in ourselves more clearly than we see the flaws in others. But those flaws are what makes us human.”  
  
Human. That's right – he _was_ human.  
  
The thought comforted him somewhat, and he returned the embrace.  
  
Aoba left a kiss on the tip of his nose. “I don't care about any flaws you think you may have, I'll love and accept them all. I love _you_.”  
  
And he couldn't help but smile at that.  
  
Aoba's body shook slightly in his hold from laughter, and before he knew it his face was being peppered in kisses traveling down to his neck, hands moving to press against his chest and gently push him onto his back all the while. They slipped under his shirt, fingertips ghosting against his skin as they made their way up and down his stomach while Ren's own hands moved to rest on Aoba's thighs. Somewhere in the midst of all this, the kisses turned from chaste to sensual, and Ren sighed at the sensation as he felt heat coming to his face from all the bodily attention.  
  
Hot breath tickled his ear as those delicate fingers snuck down his torso and slipped just past the band of his pants. He turned his head and looked over at Aoba, meeting a coy smirk and sly twinkle in his eye before his lithe body shuffled down towards the bulge beginning to grow in his jeans.  
  
“So let me show you _how much_ I love you, yeah?”

**Author's Note:**

> and then aoba sucked all the worry and doubt right out of him goodnight


End file.
